Special Needs or Disabled: Which Term Should You Use?

About 54 million Americans have a disability, such as Down syndrome, Cerebral palsy, or autism.

As our society’s understanding of these conditions grows, so do the open discussions around special needs etiquette. Experts and those within the special needs community agree that the vernacular used when referring to these conditions is changing, but there are still differing opinions. 

We recognize that regardless of opinions, people of all races, ages, sexes, genders, and abilities should be treated equally and without stigma. Unfortunately, stigmas still remain around the special needs community and people still use incorrect terminology.

To help dispel this and to educate our audience, Aeroflow Urology asked individuals with disabilities and individuals with loved ones who have special needs which terms they prefer and why. 

Let’s start the discussion by giving a brief history of disability vernacular. 

The People First Respectful Language Modernization Act of 2006 had a significant impact on the vernacular we use today, which was enacted by the Council of the District of Columbia. 

This act was to “require the use of respectful language when referring to people with disabilities in all new and revised District laws, regulations, rules, and publications and all internet publications.” To put it plainly, this act puts the person first, not the person’s disability. This applies when we are both speaking and writing. 

Here’s a list of some people-first terms:

• Afflicted with a disability = Has Down syndrome.
• Disabled person = Person with a disability.
• Wheelchair user = Person who uses a wheelchair.
• Normal person = Non-disabled.
• Suffers from autism= Has autism.

Identity-first language, on the other hand, does the opposite, putting the identity (disability) first, rather than the person. An example of this language is:

• Autistic person rather than Person with autism.
• Handicapped person rather than Person with special needs.

In a poll sent out to 147 subscribers, most people said they prefer the term “special needs.” Here were the results:

• 83 people prefer the term “special needs.” 
• 48 people prefer “disability.”
• 16 people prefer the term “other.” People who chose "other" said they prefer to use:

• • “Challenges”
  • “Autistic”
  • “Pelvic floor muscle challenged.”
  • “Special heroes.”
  • “People-first language.”
  • "People with special perspectives.”
  • “Differently-abled.”
  • "Exceptional children.”

"I prefer the term special needs. We are not a family that gets offended easily, so we choose to use that term, but if others use different wording, we are very understanding. We've learned over this 12-year journey that most people have good intentions, and it doesn't benefit anyone if we get angry or offended so easily. We prefer this term because the word 'special' is a more positive term, meaning 'better,' 'greater,' or otherwise different from what is usual. Our boy's needs are different from the “usual” needs of kiddos their age and therefore require “special” care and 'special' attention.

I love to find the silver lining in things or a positive spin and so the term 'special needs' does just that for me. We love all three of our boys and try to give them what they need specifically, whether it's the ‘usual’ thing or a 'special' thing."

- Instagram user @daidrahamlin

"Special needs is what we prefer. We see his [Theo's] needs as special, not a disability. Also, his needs are extensive and really trickle into so many different things in his life. For me, a disability is permanent… Theo's needs will change and evolve, and they will not always remain the same. I wouldn't be offended if someone used a different terminology like 'disabled.' For me, it's just personal preference."

- Angela Blymilller @angelablymiller

"I prefer to use the term 'disability.' I understand that many parents prefer the term 'special needs,' and it's the predominant term in some nondisabled circles. But 'special' can imply 'extra,' like when we say a person shouldn't expect 'special treatment.'

My daughter's needs, though, aren't icing on a cake. They're essential for her ability to access fundamental rights, like the right to enter public spaces, join peers in play, and communicate her ideas. Likewise, 'special' can suggest 'precious' or 'cute,' and her needs are neither– they sometimes require the hardy work of structural change.

Some folks feel hesitant to say the word 'disability.' I believe that reluctance is rooted in the belief that a disabled life is somehow inferior or a problem. But disability isn't a problem–it's an inherent part of human diversity. And if we're lucky to live long enough to have the full gamut of human experiences, we'll all at some point find ourselves disabled, temporarily or otherwise.

Disability, then, isn't 'special.' It's ordinary. It's human. If we treat it as such, we create a world where providing access for all people isn't a 'special' act but an essential, ordinary, expected one. 

Some of my thinking on these terms comes from disability advocates themselves. For instance, in the poem 'Special Vans,' Laura Hershey writes powerfully about how the culture sees the word 'special' and the people it attaches to that word: 'The cops are wary of our bodies / they treat us in a special way, / special smiles, if you're lucky / special brutality when you're in the way.' I highly recommend reading the whole poem!

She concluded powerfully: 'Are these really special needs, / unique to only me? / Or is it just the common wish, / to be alive and free?'"

- Heather Lainer @heatherklanier